Researchers have found that one of the biggest reasons for a relationship problems is that we people don't really listen to each other. At least, not with our full attention. Listening to others' point of view takes up a lot of time, energy and effort that most of us are not willing to sacrifice. As we can see, we seen to be naturally born to be impatient with others as well as with life. We spend most of the time and chances we have to express our strong opinions on almost everything under the sun, and rarely listen to others.
These are the barriers to listening:
•Comparing - You hear part of the story and start to compare. For instance, “I
would have make this decision in the first place” or “I wouldn't
make such a thing”
•Judging - You start to judge someone that the other party is talking about
without hearing the third party's point of view. Naturally, you tune
off as you already set your mindset about that person.
•Filtering - Listen to things that interest you only.
•Dreaming - You are half-listening. You are thinking about you own memory
that had been triggered by something the other party said.
•Advising - Try to give a solution or an opinion after a few sentences without
finish hearing all the information. The information you get is not
complete.
•Derailing - Changing the subject as you are bored or uncomfortable with the
subject.
In all these instances, the listener is not giving the other party who is talking his/her full attention and respect.